distance makes...a happy family :)

The kids are home and my house is back to being chaotically wonderful. I missed the little boogers way more than usual. Maybe because I am a stay at home mom again, with them not here it was as if my employees were on strike. Usually I stall when its time to pick them up, or suggest that they get one last day with their (more patient than me) grandparents...but this time I couldn't get them back in my arms fast enough. We got home on Tuesday and met daddy for pizza at our favorite restaurant, which was like any other meal out - loud, messy and involved several trips to the bathroom. Normally I would have lost my patience but that night was different. After dinner we all watched the NBA finals...again out of the norm for my liking but it was refreshingly enjoyable. The girls were really into the game and it made me chuckle that one of the girls kept referring to the team as "the heats". Yesterday the kids played at home for most of the day while I got done all of the chores that I planned on doing during my "staycation". We made the "dreaded" trip to the grocery store, where I saved $45 and only spent $75 (if I cant brag here, where can I??) and everyone made it out a alive! Not that anyone ever actually dies on our grocery excursions...but it gets close! I usually threaten to take illogical things away, produce is violated, and 1 child is always missing from the routine "every isle head count". AND it just dawned on me that NO ONE asked for a cookie!! Which by the way grocery stores...PLEASE stop giving away cookies...it does not help speed things along, and God forbid I only bring one child with me to the store and she gets a cookie - I have to hear about it for a week!! If you wanna be "friendly" start giving away scholarships, that would be extremely helpful :) Dinner was later than usual last night but that was OK because its summer. We grilled sweet n sour chicken and veggie skewers in the rain (DELISH!!),...the dog got wet and tracked mud all over the floors that I had washed earlier in the day, the baby spilled an entire cup of tea at dinner and 2 of the girls cried because they "didn't like" the food that in a few minutes they would devour. After dinner (and several "reminders" to put on PJs and brush their teeth) the kids and I continued to read "the witches" (which we started a month ago) while my daughter had no concept of personal space and felt the need to rest her head in my rib cage...I know she was trying to "snuggle" but she is an unknowingly strong child and brings new meaning to the term "bear hug". The night ended with the kids wanting to sleep in a closet and me shockingly obliging. I think if nothing else the time away from the kids gave my patience a "recharge". We will see how long it lasts...I have a feeling I will be calling the grandparents for another visit in the near future :)

Happier Holiday

Fathers day used to be a day that I didn't enjoy. It was a day that made me sad, not for myself but for my child. I have a wonderful father who has always been there for me, and is a shining example of what all men should be like. He was also a huge part of my daughters life and tried to fill that gap as much as possible. Most of the time I thought nothing of my daughter lacking someone to call "dad". I was proud of how she was raised and didn't feel as though she was missing anyone. Fathers day however, was the one day of the year that I felt sorry for her, and maybe myself a little. It was a day that reminded me that sometimes children are born into unfair circumstances. I knew that one day I would not resent the holiday that was meant to honor the fathers that care, provide, teach and cherish their children. Some day my daughter would make a card that said "Happy Fathers Day Dad" and have one of her own to give it to. That someday happened 4 fathers days ago, but it becomes more special each year. I hear my daughter refer to her "dad" and watch a bond grow between two people that I love very much. It cant be forced and it will be a relationship that is unique to them. Its something that I could never provide her and am so very thankful that HE can. The children are still on vacation - I will pick them up tomorrow and we will celebrate Fathers day together this week. They all called this morning, but I would be lying if I didnt say how excited I was that my (biological)daughter called first...followed up with an immediate phone call from the rest. The feeling of knowing that she thought of him on this day gives me comfort because that means she is celebrating fathers day.

Crazy loves Company

My children have been away with their grandparents for 4 days...my house is very quiet. There is no one here to feed, clean up after, entertain, or reprimand. I am bored out of my mind. Sure James and I have been able to dine out every meal, sleep in and use inappropriate language in our "outside voices" but there is no chaos. No Crazy. I think I love crazy... Up until my crew went on vacation I thought I was having a nervous break down...I NEEDED peace and quiet. I was counting down the seconds until I would be driving my minivan less the mini's. I could not wait to get home and accomplish things. Little did I know that all I really needed was a few drinks and a long nap. I have accomplished close to nothing since I have cut my ties with responsibility. I have a mental list of "to-dos" that mostly consists of cleaning, organizing, and running errands, a very similar list of things that I do when I'm not on vacation. I guess because James is still working this week, I feel a little guilty. I would throw a house party, but its my own house and that means I would have to clean up...plus between me, James and our handful of friends, I don't think we could "kill a keg". I also have a feeling that my idea of a party would not be considered "cool". Is this what people do with their time away from their children?? I've never had a problem enjoying time away from my children in the past...maybe my children are becoming...more enjoyable! Regardless I have 4 days left without them. I am going to try to embrace this time and appreciate it. I should just go hang out at a park and watch other parents be stressed out...that sounds fun.

Just a mom... is more than enough

Tonight is one of those nights that I will consume wine, possibly an entire bottle. My children have driven me crazy today...and I am not using the term loosely, I mean literally crazy. Today, they have each proven to me that when I ask the question “are you deaf?”…the answer IS yes, they cannot hear me. It is clear, because my perfect children would never intentionally ignore me…I better schedule them each a full physical because I am pretty sure they have vision problems as well…they can NEVER find the hamper, flusher on the toilet or sink….poor angels. Why am I so stressed you ask?? Let me explain…. In my last post I described the lack of passion that I had for massage, which lead to my decision to “retire” from school…I am having a hard time with the word quit. Although I enjoyed working, making 8 dollars an hour, far less than my babysitter makes and barely enough to fill up my gas tank, wasn’t exactly logical. I wanted to have a career, but instead I wound up right back in the same place as I was before I ventured on my educational, success seeking, stress increasing journey…at home. So I am once again a full time…mom, which is more than enough. I think I am actually, FINALLY, realizing that being a mom is a job. A real, hard, non-paying job…kind of like community service. I have been home now for a few weeks, and so far going to school and working was a much easier task. My 2 year old is intimidating, my 5 year old is a boarder line genius (I can say that because she isn’t biologically mine), my 6 year old is Sassy McSassy Pants and my 8 year olds think they “don’t need me” …oh and my dog…he’s kind of a jerk (don’t worry we still love him)…it’s a scary house to live in. I will be home with the kids all summer…and am praying that we can all make it unharmed…I mostly fear for myself. The good news is that I will have PLENTY to blog about. I am sure I will have entertaining stories and pondering thoughts to share :) But for now I am going to pour some wine…so cheers to my fellow moms…and all the other hard workers out there – whatever your stresses may be.