Saturday, November 3, 2012

do unto others...

"If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all", remember this being told to you as a child?  I know this implies to the way we treat others, but I also feel this way about my life right now...not all of it, just a small part that is taking up way too much of my time and energy.

I don't like to write when I am upset.

I don't like to complain about the same issue over and over.

And I  especially don't like when there is no solution to a problem....

I have not said much lately because of these reasons.

Well here goes, I am going to say something that may not be "nice".

I am angry, sad, disappointed, hopeless, defeated, and NOT OK with how things have turned out.

My family and I have been through more than most in the last few years, my children have learned to adjust to situations that are out of their control and have been resilient in doing so.  We have been patient, understanding and optimistic.

About 7 months ago we decided to build a home, and relocate the children to the school that was closest to that future home. We also signed the girls up for cheerleading, in an effort to make friends before the school year started.

During the building process we visited the home every day, purchased furniture to compliment the setting, allowed our children to "call dibs" on their favorite room, and received quotes for paint, and custom built ins.  We were building our dream house.

Dreams, are just that...a some point, you wake up. 

We are slowly waking up, and finding out that we may have to look for a new home.

We have done everything we can, I wont get into specifics, mostly because what I am angry about involves my personal specifics being shared with others in a hurtful way.

As you can imagine, our family is devastated, and we are now faced with the challenge of making sure that we can move closer to the school that our children now attend.

Yesterday afternoon, while stuck in traffic, 30 minutes late for picking up my children from school, I received a phone call from the principle of their school.

I assumed this would be a phone call regarding my tardiness, which I did make the office aware of, so I immediately told her that I was only a few minutes away.

It wasn't about was about my children being enrolled in a school that we are not zoned for.  She "heard" that we had not closed on our home yet.  She informed us that "people gossip" and schools are already over crowded, she could not have children whom were not in her district taking up classroom space.

THIS is what I am angry about.  I can handle finding a new home, I can handle driving 45 minutes each way to my children's school, I can handle living out of boxes because half of our home is packed up, I can even handle the humiliation of people thinking that our house was never "our house".

I cannot handle people saying things with a purpose of hurting my family, while we are already hurt, while we are already aware that we have to fix the problem.

I cried when I received that phone call, James was so angry, and spoke to the principle for almost 45 minutes.  My heart broke into a million pieces because I do not want my children to be affected any more than they already are, by the things we are dealing with.  At the end of all the talking, our children will be able to stay in this school until we find a home.

I want to say to whomever felt the need to share that information, whatever your intent was, shame on you.  Shame on you for trying to hurt a child, and an entire family for no other reason than to be "gossipy". 

I was asked, by the principle, how I would feel, as a parent, if my children were being affected by the overcrowded classrooms because of students who did not belong in a specific district.  I was told "I must understand where a parent like that was coming".  NO, I do not. My kindergartner had to switch classes in the first few weeks of school because of overcrowding, she is doing great, excellent actually.  My children are affected by the overcrowding, and I can promise you some of the children who do not live within the district, will never live within the district. 

We have been honest with the school from day one, they have a copy of our contract, and are well aware that we do not live in the area yet.

"Over crowding costs the district thousands of dollars", I was told.  So does driving almost 50 miles a day to get to a school that will be in our district in the very near future. 

I just cannot understand how getting my children out of a school while we work out the kinks of relocating, to then re enroll them in the same district, will benefit the parent who felt the need to share this information in an attempt to have us removed.

I am so angry...I do not usually write when I am angry, but this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

As always though, I have learned something significant from this whole experience, two things really  First off, be careful who you share things with, even if what you are sharing is not wrong, inappropriate or unjust, because people can always find a way to turn things around.  Secondly, family is what makes your home, a school, a house, a whole community can be taken from you, but if you nurture your family, it will continue to grow strong. 

Our children are doing so well academically, socially and emotionally and my relationship with my partner is stronger than ever.  We are teaching our children about compromise, and that it is possible to find the good in each situation.  This school year James has driven the girls to school every day, this is the first year that we have had to drive, we previously walked.  He listens to disney radio with them (and has memorized and obscene amount of kids songs), treats them to breakfast sometimes and makes sure that they are always on time.  He has bonded with them a lot over the past few months.   I see the joy that this time has brought all of them, it is time that they will look back on and be thankful for, they won't remember the early wake up calls, or stop and go traffic. 

My family will be OK, I will not allow a house, gossip or circumstance to bring us down, but I had to get all of this off of my chest.

My compassion for others has grown immensely,  and I will always look back at this time in my life to remind myself that we need to treat others with the same understanding, that we expect.


  1. I am so sorry for all that is happening. This is awful. Thank you for sharing this story and I hope you feel better sharing it. I know I always do. I just hope that Karma get that person that was trying to hurt your family. And for what reason? what did they get out of it? It's sad to say but I guess trust no one.

  2. Thank you Jennifer, I do feel better :)

  3. I am with Jennifer, what did they get out of it? Do people take some satisfaction in this? Because it's beyond me how you can be happy starting trouble like this unless you are truly mean. I feel sorry for whomever felt the need to try to hurt your family, and I'm glad the outcome was in your favor. Good luck with the move!!


  4. Unfortunately in this world we always get people who for some reason NEED that high from knowing they put their noses into some elses buisness. It's probably some stuck up parents who wanted their kids in a different school but didn't want to make the sacrifices to move to the district and therefore couldn't and now they're out to spite other families! It is pure selfishness. Go to bed each night knowing you are doing EVERYTHING you can and exactly what you know your family needs! That is all that matters!

  5. Sometimes you just have to be angry and that is OK. You need to be sometimes. I am glad you were able to keep your kids in school. You have so much to worry about right now and knowing your kids won't have to deal with a change must be a relief. Hang in there! Gossips...what goes around comes around.

  6. Hi! I am your newest follower and was hoping that you would stop by my blog and follow me back!


  7. OMG girl, I didn't know that happened to you. That's why I keep my head down and I don't talk to anyone at their school, people are always trying to be in your business. I'm so sorry you guys went through that but so glad the girls get to stay at the school. I cant wait for you to be closer so I can drop Tori off, oops I mean, have play dates :-)