Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Growing up

Its true...I am growing up, and eventually I will be "OLD".   I use to love growing up, it was exciting, and challenging in a "fun, but I was usually the winner" kind of way. I got to be the boss of not only myself, but my daughter too.

Now I hate aging, and its freaking me out.  I cant sleep at night.  I catch myself saying ridiculous old people things like "jeepers creepers", "I'm not made of money" and for those who know my dad "who would do such a thing??"...I roll my eyes at myself sometimes, I can only imagine how uncool my kids think I am.  Different parts of my body "ache" on a regular basis, I slept wrong the other night and had a stiff neck for a week.    Whenever I go to a bar its a sad reminder that the drinking age sign has a year that I can actually remember living in, on it and that I don't need to flirt with the bartender to get a drink, and wouldn't want to because he is 10 years younger than me, and he wouldn't want me to because he knows how much older I am and mostly because I'm far beyond drinking age and flirting with him would just make me look "creepy".  Instead of drinking care free,  I now think about what I have to do for the next week  and if a 3 day hang over is worth it, because for some reason, as I age, it takes me a lot longer to recover from bad decisions.  I have problematic skin for the first time in my life, am in full denial of my "muffin top" and there are clothes that are inappropriate for me to wear...now I am "too mature" for them, and it is just as disappointing as when they were "too mature" for me.

And it isn't just me, James is aging with me. We have "programs" that we watch together,  prefer fish over red meat because its lighter and doesn't make us "sleepy", and recently we decided that we want to get a credit card with points so that we can take the kids on cool vacations....we want the kids on vacation with us....

I miss the excitement of aging.  Almost 5 years ago, I wrote about growing up and today, as I read what I wrote back then, it reminded me of where that excitement came from.   I thought  I would share what I wrote, so that those of us who are searching for the fountain of youth can be reminded of the good that comes with aging.   Getting older is knowing that its OK, and that we are growing up to a better world, and choosing what we want to do, where we want to be and who we will be remembered as.  So although it scares the "begeebees" outta me, I do know that growing up is a good thing.

 

Growing up

March 20, 2008




When I was younger I wished never never land was a real place.  I wanted to stay care free forever, doing things that are only acceptably done by a child. I was terrified of "growing up".  Maybe it was because I had an exciting childhood, or because I was the youngest of 4 children.  Whatever the reason, I always hated gaining another year. 
Holidays lose that sparkle after a certain age, it’s not as "cool" to talk about an over sized bunny or actually believe that reindeer fly.   Dolls that once knew all of your secrets and were taken care of almost as well as a real child begin to collect dust under your bed.  Imaginary friends disappear…creativity fades.  Trees are now meant for shade instead of climbing, and rocks stay on the ground instead of in your pocket.
Friends become enemies and adults that used to be your heroes soon disappoint you.  Your blinders slowly slip away and the world is an ugly place.  Everything that made sense to you is blurry now and you are forced to be brave.
Fast forward….
That was the hard part of growing up. 
When you actually become an adult, those things come back.  You realize who you are and what parts of your life are important.  Painting with your fingers sounds appealing again and nature is appreciated instead of wasted.  One friend is better than a hundred, and relationships are exactly what you make of them.  "Cool" only exists in your own mind, and there is no one to impress anymore.  Music sounds better, food is appreciated more, and art is in everything you see.  Laughing is better than drinking, talking is better than kissing… living is better than sleeping .
I’m growing up, and loving it.  Things are still challenging and sometimes I’m scared but I’m excited to see where my path will lead me.  A far away land full of hundred year old "children" doesn’t sound as exciting as it used to.  Knowing that it’s OK to be who you are at any age is the key to a happy adulthood. 
  
Thanks for reading, I updated my "Buzzworthy Ideas" tab and added "Buzzworthy Books"   If you like my blog, please click on the "VOTE FOR ME" lady on the top of my page, if you think I suck at this then I apologize for wasting your time :)

14 comments:

  1. This was amazing.....as was your writing from years ago. One thing though....I, myself, have not found growing old to be exciting....especially now that I am old. I find I miss so much of my younger days and totally scared to death of what lies ahead. Turning 50 in three years scares the bejeebers out of me....GREAT POST. U are taking it very well! LOL

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    1. Thank you :) I too miss my younger days, but aging can be awesome and we might as well just embrace it right? 50 is the new 30 and you are way cool in my book! Thanks so much for reading!

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  2. I turned 30 this year, and suddenly, I am one of those ladies at the bar who i used to look down my nose at when I was 21... well, I would be if I had the time or energy to go to a bar : ) I think of my life then, and while it was full of fun, I'm happy to be where I am now. I LOVE being a mom, and being settled into our little family life. I love your blog, and I nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger and the Versatile Blogger Awards. COme on over and pick them up at...

    http://figuringitoutaswegrow.blogspot.com/2012/07/they-like-me-they-really-like-me.html

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    1. Thank you for reading, following you back!

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  3. Love this post! I never really thought much about aging until I worked in a nursing home and saw what is to become of me. YIKES! Now growing older terrifies me. Gravity is not kind! LOL I have tagged you for an award. Stop by and pick it up!
    http://mamasmumbojumbo.blogspot.com/2012/07/im-liebster-blogger.html

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    1. A nursing home can be a sad place, I hope that when I am old and gray my children will take care of me the way I have of them. Gravity is cruel - but push up bras are fabulous! Thanks for the follow, I am following you back!

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  4. I year ya sista! I just woke up with a sore neck! And drinking... forget it. I'm too "responsible" now to get drunk. I usually stop myself after a few drinks and switch to water because I know that dealing with a hangover and kids at the same times is something I don't want to do!

    All that said, I more have a hard time with my kids getting older. It keeps me up nights. I want them to stay young forever. But, because life is life, that just isn't possible.

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    1. Sore necks are the worst, I am going to invent a preventative pillow :) I do wish the kids could stay babies forever, but they do seem to get easier with age...mine ALMOST listen to me. Hope you have a great day, thanks for reading!

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  5. Hi, I'm Shar!
    Your newest follower from the blog hop!

    Wow, I'm only 20 and I already have a fear of aging... maybe it has a lot to do with my hubby.

    I love the way you write!

    xoxo ♥ -Shar
    http://sharmartinez.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey Shar, I just checked out your blog - fantastic!

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  6. All of us can't wait to grow up when we are younger and then, all of the sudden we are old, wishing we were young again. A week or so ago I wrote an article about things my mother forgot to tell me (http://wp.me/p2xnr0-dX). Great post! Found you on the blog hop!
    Dani
    suburbiainterrupted.com

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    1. Only one of my children tells me she doesn't want to grow up, she's ahead of the game I guess :) I checked out your blog and its great! You are a fantastic writer, I too have 5 children and can relate to a lot of the things you talk about! Thank you for the follow - following back.

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  7. Hi, I'm your newest follower from Welcome Wednesday and I hope you can follow me back. http://TodaywiththeTennerys.blogspot.com

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  8. hi, i'm following the welcome wednesday blog hop. i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it

    http://www.blackinkpaperie.com

    thanks
    new follower bev

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