Friday, January 20, 2012

back to reality

My last post was a few months ago, when I had a yard sale...I didn't know at the time that I would be parting with more than just some of my belongings. I took a break from my life for a while...a needed one, that has brought me so much clarity...not complete clarity but at least enough to see some of what is necessary to be happy. As I have settled back into the chaos, I have realized that even though people and conditions may change challenges will continue to be there. That may seem so obvious, but I think when everything is great we forget about life's obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are repetitive and take patience and diligence. For example, one of my girls has a hard time with listening, just about everyday I have to repeat myself, it gets extremely frustrating, and almost easier to except her bad habit. On the days that I dont have to remind her as often to follow the rules, it feels great, progress was made...until the next day when I have to start repeating myself again. In the moment of her wonderful behavior I forgot about the not-so-good behavior, along with all the stress that comes along with it. Maybe if I were more accepting of life's hurdles, I could conquer them more permanently. Just a thought. Maybe I will forever lack patience and be a crazy lunatic....or maybe I already am...god only knows what my children think of me. I feel so rushed sometimes for no reason other than the fact that at some point there will be something to do. I wish life had a pause button...i know I am not the first to say it, but I may be one of the few to waste an actual birthday wish on this idea. If I could hit that button in the middle of dinner while the kids are chewing with their mouths open, making a mess and just being...well...(gross)kids...I could take a moment to breath, to convince myself that it isn't that bad and that one day I will miss these crazy dinners. Or when I am in the grocery store with the entire circus act which is my 5 children, I would hit that button and run down every isle without worrying about them breaking, stealing, or eating anything. It would be nice, but I think I am going to have to find other solutions. I guess I just have to say...this is happening...and its my job to deal with it...I almost said fix, but sometimes you cant fix the craziness that is life. I am so happy to be home, and I cant allow situations to take away from the reality that life is good...challenging...but good :)