Saturday, July 23, 2011

Friend or Friends...more than a number

Well I've lived in Tampa for about a year now and I have yet to really make any friends. Unless you consider the crossing guard, my daughters teacher (who has emailed me more times than most of my family members...and it wasn't because my child made student of the year) or the handyman who has been less than pleased to receive my phone calls.

My kids on the other hand have more friends than I can keep track of. Our house is on a corner, and the closest one to the school so everyone knows where we live. They have friends from school, karate, dance, the walk home, the grocery store...everywhere. Children form instant bonds, with only one primary goal...to have fun! Friendship is so much more complex for adults. We have to have the same interests, similar life styles, and for woman there is so much judgement involved. Guys are kind of like kids...they just want to have fun. For them its easy...have you ever heard a guy say "Can you believe what Bill wore to the BBQ??". Usually, guys don't need the support that women look for in a friendship either, they just want a buddy to have fun with.

I am lucky to have a great group of friends, unfortunately they live about 4 hours away. I have known them all for a long time, and each of our friendships are unique. I trust them, I respect them and I appreciate them. I want to build strong relationships like that here, but it has been so much harder than I expected.

Once you become a mother all of a sudden your friendships revolve around your children, and if you are social like me you desperately hope to have things in common with your kids friends mothers...yes I said desperately. I often get looks of sympathy from other moms...and I think the thought of them having to be around all of my children to socialize with me is a bit terrifying...so usually they are "busy" (hanging out with another mom and their 1 or 2 children)

So for a while I had given up on the idea of having friends here...except James of course...who is a great friend, but not so keen on "girl talk", baking or sun bathing...and unlike my other friends, I am often finding myself cleaning up after him and doing his laundry.

But then recently, a miracle happened...I met a mom...MY AGE...ok a year younger...but who's keeping track. She has 3 kids...and we have a lot in common! This post is really making me sound like a loser...I'm bragging that it took me a year to make 1 friend...but the whole point is, that friendships do take a LONG time to create, and really can be over in an instant. And as we get older I think we long for more solid friendships, and seek quality over quantity.

I hope that as my children get older they appreciate their friends, and let go of the ones who are not genuine. Friendship is more than "fun"...its influential, because we really are who we surround our selves with.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

back to blogging

Almost 2 months have past since my last blog. If you know one thing about me, you would not be surprised by my inconsistency. James teases me for blogging, once we got an argument and I said he was being mean, he told me to blog about it. I should have. The truth is, I just get so busy, and writing takes a clear mind, something I rarely have. Today however I am home ALONE...I even put the dog in the back yard to make myself officially the only person in the house. Jacob, Kaylee and Brooke are with their grandmother for the rest of the week and the other 2 are at camp (I cant remember their names...out of sight, out of mind..jk).

It has been a somewhat productive summer thus far, and unfortunately we are nearing the end. I took a trip to boston with Jacob to visit my sister in law, wish I could have stayed longer. Flying with a baby is awesome...oh no wait flying with a baby is TERRIBLE...he was pretty good...but in the future I will be reserving the entire back of the plane. And apparently when you request an isle seat, it means you will be given the middle seat, between two single men who have no children, nor want someone elses child touching them for 3 straight hours.

Boston is so beautiful, for a long time I wanted to live there...after visiting I have started to feel that way again. I'm just not sure about toting around 5 children via public transportation. I could just imagine one getting off the subway without me, or leaving a couple at a bus stop by accident...I do several head counts a day already and we live in a much less populated area. Jacob and I walked around the city for hours, and I was so amazed by all the children, running through the gardens, and dining at adorable little street cafe's. I imagined what it would be like to walk out of one of those pricey brownstones each day and stroll around, taking in the sights and tastes, everyday would be exciting! Too bad James sells swimming pools...I have a feeling there isn't a thriving market for that in Boston...although rooftop heated spa's may be an idea!

After the short trip, it was back to reality. The kids have been in camp, the babysitter idea didn't work out as planned, but its probably better off...and I have been in school. I actually really enjoy school, the skin care industry is very unique. Its such a positive environment, which for me is perfect. The last thing I wanted was more stress in my life, but this career path is all about less stress. When I'm working on someone I'm not thinking about my life, I'm thinking about the person I'm with, and making them feel relaxed and in turn I feel relaxed. Of course James has been "helping" by "allowing" me to practice facials and such on him...real rough life that guy has. And yes it is somewhat funny to see a 6'5" man with a face mask on. I am excited about the future, and I think for once I found something that I will really enjoy doing.

I am taking the rest of the summer off though, and will start school again in a few weeks. James and I will be going on vacation in the keys soon...without the kiddies..but don't worry they get to spend time with the grandparents..I'm sure they will come home sleep deprived and spoiled rotten.

I'm pretty happy with how my life is turning out, I couldn't have ever imagined it to be the way it is...and I now I cant imagine it any different.