Its not that difficult...

Why does everything seem so difficult lately?  Things that should be simple, and enjoyable instead are impossible and exhausting! 

My children's school for example, has become a very annoying member of our family, constantly craving time, attention and money!  Hours of homework for my elementary aged children, forms that require signatures, requests for donations and volunteering, its never ending. This school year they stopped recognizing the "terrific" students, for lack of funding.  The school is asking for supporters to send in checks to pay for the cake, bumper stickers and pencils required for such an assembly.  Whatever happened to a verbal recognition, that would only cost...free. 

If you are brave enough to take on school (which is already a full time job) AND outside activities you already know how hard this has become.  My girls are in cheerleading...not the super competitive cheerleading, just a local team, but its a BIG deal!  Practice 3 times a week, games all day Saturday, competitions, more volunteering, and of course donations - you aren't living if you aren't giving your money away. 

The expectations brought on by this world are demanding and often not realistic.

My daughter wanted me to buy her teacher a gift for her birthday the other day. I said no, for more than one reason.  The first being, she asked me with less than 24 hours notice, the second reason was that I have 5 children who each have at least 2 teachers...that's a lot of gifts but I mostly said no because I think her teacher would have appreciated a home made card or a nice letter just as much as a store bought gift.  I suggested this idea to my daughter who of course cried, and I thought about how if I was more organized and she had less siblings she wouldn't be facing this crises.  I know she was also disappointed because I am sure that some of her friends will have brought in a beautifully purchased present.  I don't want my children to think that what they have to offer isn't enough.  She ended up making a card and I found a cat pin in my purse (it was brand new...what, you don't keep cat pins in your purse?).  Her teacher loved the thought and my daughter didn't die.  The point of my story is not that I am against buying presents its that, even my 9 year old feels the pressure of a birthday, because birthdays have become less about the birth and more about the party, gifts and treats. 

Weddings have turned into major events, with very little emphasis on the marriage.  I myself have been avoiding planning my own wedding for this exact reason. 

Life has become over complicated, and although I want my children to be challenged, pushed and even slightly competitive, I do not want them to feel like they have to be the best or have the best all the time. 

I have fallen a victim to it myself, I sometimes try to keep up...but sometimes, I just cant.

The only way we will prevent our children from growing up into an even more demanding society than we currently live in, is if we start demanding less from one another...its not that difficult.

Facebreak

Not sure if anyone has noticed but I haven't been on FB in a while...or as my fiancé refers to it "Fakebook"

I needed a facebreak for a while, and to be honest I haven't missed a lot of things about facebook.

I do not miss the selfies, the ecard that circles everyone's page just with a different picture and color, the TMI (NO ONE cares that you are in the bathroom at church), the NEI (not enough info...you know the old "tomorrow is the day..." post that leaves you worrying, and wondering what the hell is happening tomorrow??).  I also do not miss the BS, that person who posts that they have the "best hubby ever!" while you are well aware of the fact that they are on the verge of a separation, or the person only posts pictures that depict a perfect image of their spotless home, flawless family, or amazing DIY project, because everything looks better via instagram.

I do miss the pictures of family, and friends that I have lost contact with.  I miss the uplifting posts about people who you truly know are happy.  I miss the relatable posts, that make you laugh, tear up or even jog a memory. 

I miss being in the loop, because facebook has become our societys main source of contact, it has become all consuming and almost a full time job for some.  Posting that you are expecting a child, getting married, moving, or have lost a loved one is the norm,  I have been guilty of doing it myself.  These days, calling someone would be "weird".  I would rather be weird...I enjoy a phone call...but I guess the times are a changin' and so must I. 

Facebook has become an essential part of this crazy world, like electricity and transportation - without we are in the dark and left behind.

So like a weak schoolgirl, I'm caving and willing to give facebook another shot.

Like most relationships that hit a bump in the road...I have learned what makes me happy, and what does not and as I move forward with facebook I will focus on the positive.  I will stalk my brother and sister-in-laws pages to see pictures of my adorable nephew and read posts about how perfect he is (seriously...he is perfect, not BSing).  I will laugh at my two other brothers ridiculously funny mishaps and be jealous of their fascinating life experiences.  I will not post life altering decisions or events, instead I will call those who actually may care to know and than later decide if I want to share my scoop with the rest of the world to be critiqued and judged.  I will ignore the things that don't deserve a like, comment or share and I will not become consumed by other peoples lives. 

New blog :)

Hi!  I decided to create a whole new blog, all about blended families!  I hope you will check it out and share it with anyone who you may know that is in a situation similar to mine :)  Here's the link!
http://blendedandmended.blogspot.com/

No time for boredom

I only like coming on here when I have something worth telling, no one likes reading a boring blog...some people don't even like reading an exciting blog.  This blog is neither, its just my life.

Last week my life went from semi hectic to full blown NUTS.  Four girls in elementary school and a toddler in preschool will keep you on your toes!  On top of trying to work because you think its what's best for you, staying busy...because 5 children, a new house and a fiancé isn't enough work.

For anyone that doesn't know me, I am extremely organized, always timely and have the patience of a saint. For those that do know me, you know that was all a huge lie.  School started Tuesday, I started my back to school shopping on Monday night - at midnight.  My children have had cheerleading practice 4 times this week, yet I have somehow managed to be late 5 separate times.  I also decided that riding our bikes to school this year would be awesome...clearly I do not know what awesome means.

Every day this week that we have rode our bikes, someone has fallen off.  One of my daughters managed to break the peddle off of her bike...she now jogs swiftly behind us for a mile and a half on the way to school. 

My life scares other people.  Imagine how I feel.

The good news is that my children have made me aware that they will have no more than one child each, at least I am teaching them a sense of responsibility.

I literally want to be bored sometimes, however I'm sure it would be interrupted by someone asking for a snack or telling me they need to go to the bathroom...or if I were bored IN the bathroom, someone would walk in and ask a mind blowing question.

That's what kids do, keep us "un-bored".  Sometimes when I'm listening to sad music in the car, intentionally trying to make myself cry just to be sure I still have feelings...I think "By God I will miss my little sugar plums when they leave me one day...I am going to be bored as hell without them."

Hopefully one will still like me enough to stick around and keep me busy :)

Never a good time

I haven't been around here in almost 6 months.  Things change a lot in 6 months, but one thing stays the same...there is never a "good time" for anything.  I've thought about writing, jotted down some ideas, and even added blogging to my to-do list, which is actually much more of a to-didn't list.

I love writing, and blogging in particular tickles my fancy.  Blogging is me time, yet it is almost never a good time to blog, even now is a horrible time - I'm exhausted, its late, and I should be sleeping.  In the morning, I should be getting things done around my house.  Once the kids get home from school they require my full attention - which coming from a mom with ADHD, I'm already kind of ripping them off.  At night, I'm beat...but putting off something that I enjoy, makes me disappointed in myself.  Its never a good time for anything, until you just do it.

So here goes...I'm very tired and this post may suck but I am MAKING time for it.

3 big things that have happened in the past 6 months...we finally moved into our house and are official home owners (for the first time), we started a business and got engaged.

I'm extremely happy with my life.  For the first time I don't want to see what is on the other side of the fence, because I feel more than confident that the grass isn't greener, which is actually a little intimidating.  Not that "this is it" but now that I am here, where I have always wanted to be, I want to savor it.   It sounds easy, as easy as making time for things.

So there is my newest goal, making time...and savoring it. Except cleaning, I am not making time nor savoring that. 

Well I am starting to crash, but I am glad that I got this post out - I already feel motivated.  In fact, I am going to go make the time to get some rest, and savor it!

Good night.

BLOG HOP!

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We all know blog hops are a great way to gain more followers, meet other bloggers and help each other out. 

The Blogger: But I don't want to go among mad people.
 Alice: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
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Adventure Into Domesticland
 
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Funny Postpartum Lady
Busymee 

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memorable moments

Our family spent Thanksgiving in a hotel this year, a first for all of us.  Two of our daughters were in a cheerleading competition the Friday after turkey day, which required them to be awake and functioning at an illogical hour - so instead of getting up way too early and driving the morning of the competition,  we decided to use the opportunity to make a mini vacation.

We haven't taken a lot of family trips, mostly because of our schedules being already slam packed - oh and that fact that we have too many children to ever take advantage of family deals, yet not enough to qualify for a  group discount.

Also, traveling with 5 children is  a lot of work...unless you have 6 children, then its a piece of cake - or if you have multiple nannies, and your own tour bus...that sounds awesome.  Unfortunately we don't have either of those things, all we have is a van, with a tiny TV (that is NOT a TV, its a DVD player...which means I cannot "change the channel" - so stop asking kids!) and a broken remote control.

This time it seemed appropriate to take the children - I was going regardless, the discounted rate at the hotel was undeniable.  After all, it was their competition not mine (I was told this several time when trying to practice with them...) so I guess they had to come.  Oh yeah, and it was thanksgiving.

We made reservations at a shmancy fancy restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner, invited both grandmothers and had a few other surprises planned. 

I spent entirely too much time doing an AWFUL job packing the morning that we were scheduled to leave for our vaca...I think I had convinced myself that there would be a closet full of new clothes at the hotel - because I barely packed enough clean underwear for everyone.

We hit the road by noon Wednesday and made it to the hotel not too shortly after that.  The hotel, actually a resort,  was beautiful, 4 pools, several places to eat, 2 lobbies (which still doesn't make sense to me) , an arcade!! It really was fantastic.

The first thing my kids had to do was go swimming.  Regardless of the fact that it was 50 degrees outside.  Their dad took them down stairs, while I did all the guests a favor by not putting my bikini on.  I watched them through the window from the room, jumping into the pool and then running to the hot tub. They spent a good amount of time down there.  When they came back up, one of my girls had a huge gash on her nose.  I asked what happened, she said, that she had her eyes closed and didn't realize how shallow the pool was, scraping her face against the floor - ouch...and eww.  She had a competition the next day - hopefully they didn't take points off for appearance.

That night we decided to go downtown for dinner.  There is a permanant production of cirque du soleil in that area, which I had seen 10 years earlier when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter.  James surprised all of us by purchasing tickets to see the show while we were there.

While watching the show, I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic.  My oldest sat a row in front of me with my mom and her two sisters, my son and youngest daughter were on either side of me.  I watched my children more than the stage.  I loved seeing their faces light up, the seriousness of their brow line, and the whispers of surprise and amazement.  I too felt those feelings, but for them.  It overwhelmed me to think of myself sitting their 10 years earlier and being at the end of my childhood- only 18 at the time.  Now as I sat there with my children, I felt the same joy, through them, and five times more significant. 

After we left, I asked the kids what they thought, they told me their favorite parts and how their grandma kept telling them to "listen to the music" - which they were trying to do...but she kept interrupting.  We laughed...and it felt wonderful to share that moment with them.

The next day, we had Thanksgiving dinner at a resturaunt not intended for children, after removing the 16 glasses and 8 steak knives from the table, my brood was on their best behavior. The food was delicious, and the service top notch.  It was another experience that I hoped my children would later appreciate.

On Friday the girls had their competition, which lasted 5 hours...no no they didn't cheer for 5 hours, their actual performance was literally two and a half minutes - however awards are at the END of the competition.  It was a long day.  They didn't place in the top five, which I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little relieved for cheerleading season to officially be over now.

One of my girls took it pretty hard, luckily we had another surprise planned for that night, which would hopefully take her mind off of the loss.

My son's birthday was the week before and we decided to celebrate it on our trip. 

We had made reservations to a pirate dinner show (our family really likes to eat...and my son likes pirates...win win).  James purchased the "VIP" package for us that night, which included front row seats, interaction with the pirates, and special attention for the birthday boy.

When we arrived to dinner, we were swept away to a private room, filled with appetizers, a bar and a pirate who mingled with us.  It was very "VIPish".  James was asked to volunteer for the pre-dinner show, and was lead backstage.  As the pre-dinner show started, we all waited with cameras out for his big debut...but he never came out.  Even as we were walking into the dining room for dinner, he was M.I.A.  A server lead us to our seat, less James.  The server sat the children and their grandmothers front and center, and then showed me to my seat...away from the family!  I was livid...James was still missing.   Finally James appeared at the table, explaining that they had forgotten about him backstage, hence not including him in the show.  That was strike two...I was furious.  We got up to speak with the manager, and explained how they had separated our family - to the point that I could not even see my children, and kept James backstage for 30 minutes, missing out on part of the experience.  The manager was very apologetic, bought us a round, moved us closer together and ended up refunding half of our money.

The show starts,  I feel a lot better now, being able to at least see my children's faces.  The show is really bad....they tried tying Christmas in with pirates, with a horrible plot about a magical treasure chest and there was this female elf - Pixy, who was...well..."talented", she climbed the ropes with no hands...I'm pretty sure, her sole purpose was to entertain the dads in the audience.  As James and I are making innaproraite jokes, I look to see my children's reactions...they are completely enthralled.  They are all wearing pirate hates and the girls are singing pirate songs, my son is pointing at the ship and making gestures about going up on the stage.

Dinner is served next.  There is a woman with a cart dishing out steak, green beans and carrots.  When I say one of the grossest meals I have ever eaten, I am not exaggerating.   It was that bad.  My kids ate it all up, hoping for dessert and wishing to be part of the show.  Their wish was soon granted as a pirate came over and ushered them all up a ramp onto the prop ship. My son needed a little pep talk from his daddy, but once he was told that it was OK, he ran after his sisters, up the ramp as well.   They were given another opportunity later in the show to go on stage, and this time no pep talk was needed.

After dinner,  my son was presented with a "real" pirate hat and a birthday cake - which was rock solid frozen..and it wasn't icecream cake....he mostly licked it.

When the show was over, we had the opportunity to take pictures with the cast, which included santa...weird, yes...exciting for my kids though.  We then went into another room with a DJ, where we did the chacha slide, and someone stole my sons hat off of his head...don't worry though, we got him a new one.

Overall the night was, strange.  I personally would never recommend the place to anyone, but if you asked my kids, it was the highlight of their vacation.

Forget the 5 star resort we stayed at, the once in a life time restaurant, or the multi-million dollar - world famous cirque du soleil act that we took them too.  Their favorite moment was being on a pirate ship, and taking a picture with (a very poor attempt at) some guy dressed as santa.  And swimming....regardless of any injury, swimming is always thoroughly enjoyed.

Kids don't know better..for their own good.  They enjoy things that are worth enjoying,  and can't really appreciate a dollar amount.  We try to provide them with great stuff, when all they need is great moments. I am sure they will look back when they are older and say "wow we did some nice things", but more importantly they found the fun in the less nice, the less luxurious, and the company in which they had.  I am proud of my children, and a little disappointed in myself.  For a moment, I forgot that it isn't what we do, it's who we do it with, that makes a moment magical.

I hope you all made memories this Thanksgiving!

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