While my mom was visiting, we stopped by the house that James and I are building and I showed her the guest room, which she joked about being her room. I wished she wasn't joking. If I could rewind and have been nicer to her during my EVIL years I would...(karma is a real B and I'm going to get it times 4 for the way I treated her) unfortunately I cant afford a time machine (yet), so I can only be ever so thankful for her now, and I AM.
My mom is organized, patient, logical, creative, and all things that I suck at. I often wonder where I came from. I am not my mothers child, but I do appreciate her for pretending I am. She makes things seem easy, and she seems to enjoy helping me make better sense of my life by continuing to support me in so many ways.
I try to call her as much as I can, but it doesn't compare to her being here with me. Its funny how you cant wait to get away from your parents, "When I grow up" is all we think about, and then just when you think you wouldn't need them, you really do.
As a mother of 4 girls I often wonder what they think about me, how they really feel about my constant nagging, over protective tendencies and embarrassing antics. Well the other day I found out how one of them feels, while flipping through videos that she had made on my Ipad, it was a series of 3 videos. The first video she said "I am going to tell you about Alexis..." Oh no I thought, she used my first name, she hates me. She had to cut the video short because I had just yelled at her to get in the shower. The next video she was in her PJ's, with her wet hair wrapped in a towel, she said "Ok, now I cant wait to tell you about Alexis!" first thought that crossed my mind - SHE HAS DIRT ON ME...oh crap what does she know??. She turned the camera off again to go brush her teeth. I was nervous to watch the next video, could I really handle the truth? Do I WANT to know how she REALLY feels, or am I better of pretending I know. I decided to watch it. There sat my daughter, about to reveal her true feeling about me, and she spoke these words "So Alexis is my best friend...I mean she's kinda my mom too, but she's my best friend". That is exactly how I feel about my mom, and I want nothing more than my girls to feel that way about me when they are grown and don't NEED me, I hope they want me, the way I want my mommy to be around more again.