Saturday, July 23, 2011

Friend or Friends...more than a number

Well I've lived in Tampa for about a year now and I have yet to really make any friends. Unless you consider the crossing guard, my daughters teacher (who has emailed me more times than most of my family members...and it wasn't because my child made student of the year) or the handyman who has been less than pleased to receive my phone calls.

My kids on the other hand have more friends than I can keep track of. Our house is on a corner, and the closest one to the school so everyone knows where we live. They have friends from school, karate, dance, the walk home, the grocery store...everywhere. Children form instant bonds, with only one primary goal...to have fun! Friendship is so much more complex for adults. We have to have the same interests, similar life styles, and for woman there is so much judgement involved. Guys are kind of like kids...they just want to have fun. For them its easy...have you ever heard a guy say "Can you believe what Bill wore to the BBQ??". Usually, guys don't need the support that women look for in a friendship either, they just want a buddy to have fun with.

I am lucky to have a great group of friends, unfortunately they live about 4 hours away. I have known them all for a long time, and each of our friendships are unique. I trust them, I respect them and I appreciate them. I want to build strong relationships like that here, but it has been so much harder than I expected.

Once you become a mother all of a sudden your friendships revolve around your children, and if you are social like me you desperately hope to have things in common with your kids friends mothers...yes I said desperately. I often get looks of sympathy from other moms...and I think the thought of them having to be around all of my children to socialize with me is a bit terrifying...so usually they are "busy" (hanging out with another mom and their 1 or 2 children)

So for a while I had given up on the idea of having friends here...except James of course...who is a great friend, but not so keen on "girl talk", baking or sun bathing...and unlike my other friends, I am often finding myself cleaning up after him and doing his laundry.

But then recently, a miracle happened...I met a mom...MY AGE...ok a year younger...but who's keeping track. She has 3 kids...and we have a lot in common! This post is really making me sound like a loser...I'm bragging that it took me a year to make 1 friend...but the whole point is, that friendships do take a LONG time to create, and really can be over in an instant. And as we get older I think we long for more solid friendships, and seek quality over quantity.

I hope that as my children get older they appreciate their friends, and let go of the ones who are not genuine. Friendship is more than "fun"...its influential, because we really are who we surround our selves with.

1 comment:

  1. I must add a little side note to this... James and I have made friends with a wonderful couple as well...but they live a little far :( so we dont get to see them as often as we would like. 2 friends! Woop woop!

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