If I could have more of anything, it would be time. Everyone always says they want more money, food or excitement, all of which are attainable but time is one of the few things in life that you are guaranteed to lose. You can't borrow more time from friends when you run out, or put some in a savings account for later, we each have a certain amount and we have to use it right now.
I feel pretty aware of the importance of time, which is why I constantly beat myself up about not spending more of it on the people and things that I love. I envy those who can fit everything into their schedule, I tell myself they don't have as many kids as I do...and if they do...well then I tell myself that they are perfect, and perfect is weird.
When I am not around my children I think of ways that I could spend more quality time with them, creating a mental note to go out of my way that day to make time for each of them. Sometimes I suggest to my Fiancé the idea of taking turns spending one on one time every week with the kids. The reality is though, we are a big, busy family on a pretty tight schedule that includes school, activities and events, quality time cant be created...it kind of has to happen.
I had an "aha moment" over the summer that made me realize, "I am spending quality time with children!" more than I realized. I was at my parent's house with all the children, it was late and I was laying in bed. My oldest daughter came in the room that I was staying in and said she couldn't sleep, she asked if she could lay with me for a minute. At home, we don't really have moments like this...mostly because if I allowed them to get in my bed every time they "couldn't sleep", I would end up sleeping on the couch most nights. Since we were on vacation, I let it slide. As she lay next to me I pulled up the calculator on my cell phone. I typed in the number 14, flipped it over and showed her how it spelled "hi". She was really impressed. We spent the next 20 minutes coming up with as many words as we could.
We do quirky things with our children all the time, and its genuine quality time. My other daughter makes me leave goofy poems on her dry erase board in her bedroom at night, it takes me only a minute to do but its our special thing. My son asks me to lay with him before bed every night, and when I'm really busy I only stay for 30 seconds, but they are OUR 30 seconds. My 10 year old and I made up this really funny game where we only talk in song lyrics, she is so good at it, it annoys everyone else in the family but her and I love it! My 8 year old showers me with hugs, and I do the same in return for her. She reminds me everyday that being loved creates more love, that may not sound like quality time but it is to us.
Time is passing, and tomorrow will be here before we know it. Don't spend time wishing or wanting, realize what you have already done!
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