passion = success

I drove to South Florida on Saturday night with my mom for a friends baby shower. On Sunday I drove back to Tampa alone...Its amazing how much thinking one can do in a 4 hour car ride. Thinking almost always causes change in my life...either change of opinion or change of plans...I think this is a very normal thing, except I should probably do the thinking first and then the decision or opinion making. My last post was about the guilt I was feeling while trying to be the "best" at several things. Over the weekend I was in a few situations that made me more aware of my current life choices. One was a conversation with my mom, we were talking about the importance of having a job that works well for your family, and more specifically your children. She started telling me about when we first moved to Florida, I was 8 and my brothers a few years older, she wanted to find a job close to our schools and be able to get home in time for dinner and to help us with our homework. As she was telling the story, my mind began to drift...I started thinking back to when I was younger and how I knew my mom worked but I never thought of her as not being there. She had several jobs, sometimes 2 at a time, and even went back to school herself but she balanced it all so well. She wasn't the room mom, but she planned birthday parties, shlepped us to and from activities and always had our days jam packed with fun and usually yummy meals. She recognized every occasion and I'm almost positive invented a few holidays of her own. That thought was so comforting, it reassured me that taking an opportunity to have a successful career is OK and that balancing everything is possible. It also reminded me that my mom is wonder woman and I probably wont be as amazing. The next situation was more of a "realization". I have been in massage therapy for a little over 2 months, at 2 different schools...and since the first week of classes I have not been passionate about it. The last post I said that I wanted to finish what I started, and that even though I didn't want to be in school I was going to stick it out. I didn't want to be a quitter, or for anyone to think I couldnt handle everything on my plate. As I drove home last night I thought about the upcoming week and how much of my time was being dedicated to each area in my life. The only thing I wasnt thrilled about was the time I was applying towards school. I thought about how I enjoyed being at work, with the kids and with James. I thought about how the things in my life that I am most passionate about are the things that I am most successful at. I don't enjoy the time that I am in school for, because I lack passion for it. So instead of wasting my time and feeling guilty, I am going to focus on what I do like, and what I am good at. I am an esthetician, that is what I am passionate about. My realization was that whatever I do, I have to want to be doing it. I would rather quit and focus on what will make me happy than do something because I think its the right thing to be or have. I spend too much time thinking about what I could be doing, or could have later, instead of focusing on the opportunities in front of me and what I actually enjoy. So I am scratching student off of my list and making more time for the things that will bring me overall success. My mom was always passionate about her career, her family and everything else she was successful at, I guess thats how she did it all so well. Makes sense now...